Every part of this article refers to you personally. When you read phrases such as “Some people,” you must assume that the person in question is you. Drop your arrogance and accept that what you are reading in this article is all about you. This article starts off with the conundrum that is self-esteem, and then moves on to your obligations, and the things you are addicted to.
Negative Emotions and Productivity Are Linked to Self Esteem
Tell a worker that he or she is needed, make that person feel needed within the organization, and that person will “Feel” needed and will become more productive and less negative. It is as simple as that. A person’s job-related self-esteem is linked with their attitude and their productivity. However, helping build a person’s self-esteem is not always that easy.
Self Esteem Building Is A Lie
Any self-esteem-building exercise you have ever seen or heard is a lie. They are based on ideas that appear to work and that appear to make sense, but the positive effects are temporary at best. Self-esteem, just like confidence, needs to be drawn from something.
For example, if you are angry at your neighbor for pulling down your fence, will you feel more confident when arguing with your neighbor if you have a team of bouncers behind you, or if you are physically large and that person is physically small, or if you are a martial arts expert? Your confidence in such a situation is drawn from something, such as the knowledge that you will not be harmed.
Self-confidence is also drawn from something. It cannot be taught, nor can it reasoned with. For example, in terms of productivity, a person may draw self-esteem from being good at his or her job. If somebody is good at a job and that person can see that he/she is making a difference in the company, then that person will draw self-esteem from his or her job. The same person may have terrible self-esteem when dealing with lovers, his/her parents, fights, etc., but he/she will take great pride in his or her work performance and will draw self-esteem from that fact. Be especially aware of this fact if you are a new manager entering a business. For example, if you are a new manager entering a writing service, then be aware of the self-esteem that people draw from their job performance. The employees may lose their job satisfaction and job-related self-esteem because you do not know how to recognize their contributions, diligence and/or greatness.
Put on A Happy Face and Grow Up
Teenagers walk around with a stroppy and sad face. Teenagers are unable to control their emotions and are typically unable to be professional when their emotions are involved. Putting on a happy face and being positive is not the same as being fake. You put on a happy face and you remain positive when you are around other people for the same reason you clean your clothes, face and teeth. You do not walk around with bad breath that upsets other people, so why do you think it is acceptable to walk around being mopey, sullen and negative?
You bathe and you wear clean clothes because you know that the way you look and smell will affect the people around you. Your mood and attitude has exactly the same effect. It only takes one negative person to enter a group and ruin the productivity of the entire team. People who are negative and emotional around other people are very selfish and self-centered, and the only solution is to change and to act in a happy and positive way when you are around others.
Sympathy Is A Drug
Most people love sympathy. Ironically, the people who hate sympathy the most are the ones who truly deserve it. There are plenty of military veterans with limbs missing who truly deserve sympathy, and yet they despise any form of sympathy because they do not enjoy it.
On the other hand, many people like sympathy so much that it becomes additive. Such people go searching for reasons to be sad or negative so that they may elicit sympathy from other people. If you want to fix this problem, then it starts by changing the way to act towards other people. Stop giving out sympathy unless it is to a child or some sort of animal. Some people crave sympathy and they will try a whole host of tricks to try to get it from you, but you must not give it to them. Do not give sympathy, and eventually that person will go away and start harassing other people for sympathy, which will help improve your productivity by a wide margin.
Criticism Is A Drug
Some people are addicted to giving criticism. Many people will tell you that overly critical people are those who are typically unhappy, but if you have ever met a bully, you will know that this is not true. Some people criticize semi-perpetually because it is fun, it is naughty, and it is addictive. Some people cannot approach a situation without saying something bad about it. If this person is you, then you need to recognize it as an addition and treat it as such.
If you want to deal with a person who criticizes too much, then you need to be abrupt and rude with that person. Whenever an overly critical person makes a criticism, say, “Nobody asked your opinion.” Or better still, “I don’t care about your opinion.” You need to be rude and abrupt with that person, and you need to understand that they are being rude and disrespectful when they criticize you or your efforts for the sake of criticizing.
The truth is that the “Effect” of the criticism is what the addict enjoys the most. Do not laugh at their criticisms, do not get upset, and do not react emotionally other than saying, “I don’t care what you think,” but it is like water seeping through concrete in that eventually your abrupt refusal to give that person emotional stimulus will cause that person to seek it elsewhere.