Gossip Just for Antipodean Big M

posted at 10:27:21
By Flipping Heck!

Posted In
Personal

Following on from Antipodean Big M's comments to a previous post, I have decided for her viewing pleasure to recount the tale of dominoes last night as she's fed up of not being able to get any gossip from me any more.

It was a cold, windy night. The owls were hooting in the rustling trees whilst a lone drunk sat in a bus shelter quietly mumbling to himself.

I'd been in the pub for about half-an-hour debating the state of the football pitch at Stamford Bridge - which was ludicrous considering the money Chelsea have - when came flying in through the door.

She wasn't in a good mood having spent the last 20 minutes trying to get her thumb out of a bottle of wine. Why she didn't use a corkscrew to open it I'll never understand. was also a bit miffed as her £1000 haircut had been ruined on the drive to work that morning after a freak twister blew over her car whilst she was stuck in traffic - that'll teach her to have the roof down.

You could tell that she didn't want to play dominoes that night. The "I hate dominoes" t-shirt hinted at that. We sat down in a corner, keeping her coat on so as not to start a fight with the 70-year-old wearing an "I ♥ dominoes" shirt opposite her.

The evening's game started badly and then went downhill from there. Apparently I wasn't allowed to play dominoes as any hand I had I barely laid anything, had swapped to the opposition quite happily giving our well earned points to her new team instead of me and both of us couldn't concentrate properly due to the shivering fits we were going through thanks to the landlord turning the heating off.

The tone of the evening was truly set when declared that she wanted something warm to get her hands around. This really shouldn't be said infront of a 70 year old man who looked like he was in the middle of an apoplexy. Still, the strong warm stuff perked her up no end and when she finally remembered who she was pegging points for we won a game.

After the game (which amazingly the team won 10-6, not that and I were much help), blew her diet by eating approximately 3 tonnes of lard, 2 pizzas and a passing child.

I did try to convince her to join me at "The Marie Celeste" tonight for the quiz but as it's sunny I think she'll be doing her hair.

Update: has just been caught on a speed camera going the wrong way down the M25. I hacked into the police computer and got the proof

I don't think the wine'll help any!

Disclaimer: All, some or none of the above is true. By reading this you have agreed subconciously not to sue me for slander, libel, fraud or theft ever (or in a million years, whichever is sooner).

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